This weekend I came across a series of posts here on Substack that sent me for a tailspin. It was the first time I had seen the term ‘a.i. sobriety’, a concept that really hit home. The reclamation itself is about reviving the humanities, about taking back our minds, but I never thought to associate it with sobriety. But it is, it’s breaking free of the technological trances we’ve been trapped in for so long our minds are starting to atrophy or that we start to panic when our third arm (our phones) is missing. Here’s the quote below;
‘AI sobriety feels more and more like an anti capitalist rebellion with each passing day. I used to use AI when it first came out and found that it disconnected me from my intuition almost entirely.’ –Mel Mitchell-Jackson
I’ve been feeling that disconnect too, but from general computer and phone use. I noticed I was starting to lose time in the last week. I was aware of an almost fugue state. I couldn’t even force myself to be present. In the past few months, I even had a series of nightmares about technology. Each of which, if I had sat with them at the time, I would have noticed as alarm bells ringing.
The first dream was about trying to show someone photo’s on my phone but it kept glitching, the photo’s kept disappearing and being replaced with bright shiny ads, right in the folder. I tried to go online and show the person something similar. The search bar kept rewriting what I was searching for as a product to buy and taking me to different sites automatically. I gave up, almost in tears as severe weather rolled in and we had to run to for safety. Was it my memories disappearing? Was it the infiltration of technology and how it forced decisions? Was the storm a warning of what was to come?
Dream two, customized ads that ran constantly when the phone wasn’t actively being used. The volume locked on max, blaring personal information and just not shutting up. People walked down the streets, phone blaring in their bags and pockets, completely indifferent. Dream three was more complex and blended a.i., robotics, and destruction / discontinuity of self in such a way that it has left a lasting impression on me and forever changed my ethics. Each time in my dreams something was actively happening that I had no control over. Each time, I woke up loathing an aspect of technology that could become very real today. These dreams occurred in August of this year.
The concept of a.i. sobriety, reminded me a bit of alcoholic anonymous, and it got me curious. Are there groups devoted to technological sobriety? My search led me to two links. The Twelve Steps to Internet Sobriety by Victoria Chen, was the first. This led me to the group, Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous. At first, I read one of the stories someone bravely shared there and realized I couldn’t relate. The internet or social media hadn’t consumed my life.
I had timers set on my phone, I deleted Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and all those other sites years ago. I never even understood the whole TikTok trend. I blocked apps on the weekends. Then I read the ‘Signs of Internet and Technology Addiction’ and while I had very lightly done some of those things I still couldn’t related…until I check my phone usage in the past week. I had been on Instagram for over 5 hrs. in two days. I had also binge watched an entire season of a t.v. show in a single day when I had a crippling migraine. I almost laughed, it was nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it was off the charts usage for me.
I started to wonder if the fugue-like state that I had been battling for months was from technology. I reread the signs of technology addiction and just sat there a moment. Technology binges including t.v.? Check. But it was justified right? I had a migraine. Keep reaching for your phone? Check. Then the kicker… Dopamine. I had been using Instagram to get through the worst three months of my life when my father nearly died multiple times in the hospital and the doctors kept trying to convince us to pull the plug. He’s alive today and mostly back to his old self. But it lead to deep exhaustion and stress, hair loss, you name it. But being on Instagram watching a funny video gave me a much needed moment of escape from it all. When I realized that, this could possibly be a problem. I picked up my phone, opened Instagram, got hit with a music video that always makes me laugh, and… I couldn’t do it.
Dread hit first, followed by intense anxiety. I exited the app and tried to delete. I couldn’t, I kid you not… I had a panic attack. I waited it out in shock that, even at low amount of use, you could very easily get addicted to an app. I sat there, I read ‘the steps’ on Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous. Then I got angry. I sat down and meditated a bit, remembering what it was like to not have technology when I was kid. I tried to hold on to the memory of that mental state of clarity and curiosity. Then I grabbed my phone and punched delete.
We live in a world where we are isolated from each other. Even in each other’s company we may feel alone with the glow of technology shining on everyone’s faces. One where the easiest way to feel better is to scroll for a bit. But then you feel worse as the dopamine wears off and you look for your phone to scroll some more. We talk about collapse and peak oil, what about peak disconnection? The reclamation is about reclaiming what makes us human in the first place. Any future in which we as a species survives requires this as the first step. We have to reclaim ourselves, our minds, our health, our knowledge, our creativity. Then we can work together with all other species to save our world. No matter how much it is sold to us, the future will not be run on fake connection, fake thought, fake creativity, or fake worlds. The future is real, tangible, and being born anew everyday. Let’s make it a good one.
Below, you’ll find some more articles that I read this weekend that you may find interesting. I hope have a good week. And if you’re curious? The fugue like state lifted after deleting Instagram. It took an entire day for my nervous system to reset. If it had been a longer period of time, I don’t think I could have quit as easily.
Stay human,
A.Z. Device
- AI needs Fascism by J.P. Hill
- the end of our extremely online era by Tommy Dixon
- How to end your extremely online era by Tommy Dixon